In April, I completed my third meditation course with the Vipassana folks. You can read about my first course here.
Long story short: when I returned from my third course, I felt that I had finally learned what the 10 day course wanted me to learn.
I found myself thinking of my former students in introductory philosophy. Undergraduate philosophy was a tough course, especially for some students who were not from middle-class backgrounds. Some students had to take the course twice in order to master the basic skills of being prepared for college, learning to read slowly and repeatedly, and participate in a community of students. I saluted their courage and persistence in returning to try again despite having failed the first time.
Like my former students, I had to repeat the meditation course three times before I was in a position to learn what was offered. The first time, I made the mistake of going off my pain meds, thinking that meditation would replace the 1200 mg of ibuprofen I was taking daily. Big mistake: it turns out that doing Vipassana meditation makes a person more aware of physical pains. Meditation doesn't relieve pains for me; rather, it forces me to pay close attention to the texture, frequency, recurrence, location, and absence vs. presence of pain.
The second time I took the same course, in February 2014, my mistake was trying to fast as recommended for students who were not taking the course for the first time. "Old" students were expected to fast from 11:30 AM each day to 6:30 AM the next day. After lunch at 11 AM, students consumed only a cup of hot ginger tea at 5 pm. No other food until breakfast the following day.
This might have worked for most students, but I became so faint and distracted by hunger that I could not focus on the meditation exercises. On the fifth day, I confessed to the teacher that I was thinking of leaving the course early as it was too physically stressful. She instantly gave me permission to eat food at dinner time.
Once I started eating a third meal daily, I felt worlds better. I also discovered that pregnant women, elderly women and other disabled women were eating hot food for dinner every day. I hadn't thought of myself as physically disabled, so I had not asked for any special accommodations. Lesson learned.
The third time I took the course, in April 2015, I asked for three meals a day in advance. I brought all of my medications with me, and took them consistently, allowing myself one or two ibuprofen when I was in too much pain. I also washed a few items of laundry by hand daily so that I always had clean clothes to wear. Once the conditions were conducive to learning, I was able to study the techniques and practice them effectively.
I was pleased to notice that I missed my new life, in which I babysit for two of the families who live in my building. One family has a three month old infant, and the other a four-year-old and his 17-month-old sister. I missed all three children sorely during my 10 days of silence.
From now on, I may attend mindfulness workshops that are day-long, weekend events, or at the most three-day workshops or retreats. I don't want to be away from the little ones longer than that. After all, 10 days is a long time in the development of a baby or toddler.
